Life lesson: Do not let other people’s fears become your fears. 

When People Project Their Fears

While I was away from home serving my country in the United States Air Force, my mom fell ill. I did as much for my mother as I could, but I could not physically be with her, due to my duty location. I thank God that my mother had my siblings and other family members surrounding her.  

One day I visited a friend, and as we discussed my mother’s condition, she asked me, “How can you be away from your mother at a time like this? What if your mother takes a turn for the worse and what if you cannot make it to her in time?” She told me that she could never leave her mother in a time like that.

To be honest, by the time I left her house, I felt so deflated and scared for my mother. I sat in my car thinking that I was a terrible daughter. In that moment, the Lord spoke to me and said, “Do not let her fear become your fear. Do not abandon your faith in Me.”

Rejecting the Fear

That was exactly what I needed to hear. I realized that my friend, unknowingly, projected her fears onto me. After hearing from the Lord, I rejected her fears and said to myself that my mother shall live and not die, and I will continue to trust the Lord. 

Ever since then, I have applied this lesson to my life. For those of us who are dreamers and visionaries, we have to guard against receiving other people’s fears. The Bible says, in Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV)

Sometimes when we share our visions and dreams with people they may provide us with cautionary tales. Often times people, unconsciously begin to project their fears and concerns on us. We have to be careful, as there is a difference in people offering wise counsel and projecting fears.

For example, say if you want to start a business, wise counsel may say, “Have you counted the cost? Do you have a business plan or have you consulted a business coach who can help you set up the business?” 

Conversely, someone who projects fear may unknowingly say, “Have you seen the market? So many businesses are going under so you may want to rethink this. In fact, it is really unstable times so you should just play it safe, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

I’m sure if you think about it, you will see moments when others projected their fears on you.

It is my hope that as we enter a new year and we set new goals, evaluate our existing goals and cast vision, that we will guard against receiving other people’s fears and reject other people’s fears that we have adopted as our own.